Do we have to discuss bodily functions at the table?

I want to try to describe our dinner tonight. I know I will not do it justice and most of the jokes you will end up saying, I guess you had to be there. But, we always have a good time, even if the discussions are sometimes PG13

The kids usually fill up their plates before the blessing so they can chow down as soon as they say AMEN! Kody started tonights dinner talk with trying to tell us a story about school,
"So in the 9th hour..." he starts, while holding up 4 fingers, and shoveling with the other.
" Does the story have bears? " I ask,
"Yea bears!" Danielle says
"NO!" says Kody "I was in 9th hour," (Holding up 4 fingers again as he shovels another bite)
"Well I want bears! Did they attack in 4th hour?" mom asks, (holding up 2 fingers) Meanwhile we are all giggling hysterically.
"No there were no bears! This is a real story!!!" Kody says "Travis and I..."
"Who's Travis?" Mom asks, knowing full well who Travis is.
"You know T-mac from Dad's baseball team" Kody replies, with a sigh.
"You know Travis, mom!" Danielle says.
Meanwhile mom laughs because both kids act like she's stupid for not knowing who Travis is.
"OK! So in 9th hour..." Kody trys again
"Are you sure it wasn't 3rd hour?" I ask holding up 2 fingers.
"No mom it was 5th hour," Danielle says, holding up 2 fingers.
"NO! 9th hour!" Kody starts over.
"There were bears!" Mom butts in,"What did they do?"
"Skateboarded!" Inserts Danielle
"Bearboarded!" Yells dad, "Which really has two meanings!" With the eyebrows going up and down at me.
That starts me thinking about the Simpson's movie when Bart skateboards naked through town and ends up tripping and flying into the window at the Krusty Burger, where Flanders and his sons are praying over thier meal and Flanders yells out "Holy Penis!" and the boys repeat "Holy penis, Amen!" So I am now bent over laughing uncontrollably trying to get out "Holy Penis!" When Danny catches on, he immediately quotes Varsity Blues, " penis, penis, penis, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina"
"Thats what he really makes us say!" yells Kody
"Testees!" Danielle adds,
Which just starts Danny on everything he can think of to call boy's parts,"Can we call it, the sack? How about twig and berries! My package!"
Which then leads Danielle, (of course she is usually our morality police, but not tonight! "Just call him UPS! They always deliver the package. What can brown do for you!"
I realize the conversation has taken a turn fo the worse and try to be a mother here, however, I am now choking on my raost from laughing too hard. "Danielle Oquist that was way inappropriate!" Of course it just doesn't have the effect I'd hoped since I'm still giggling and my stomach hurts from laughing so hard and eating at the same time!
"That would be a great commercial!" Danny exclaims! "UPS delivers the package every day and twice on Sunday!"
Kody meanwhile is inserting the background music for the commerical, if you have heard my story from last year about Kody's description of how sex goes then you know what song he is humming. "MMta mmmta mmmta" (or something like that) of course the dance is there also.
All the while Lolo just laughs like she completely understands (not quite) and Sammy starts to "talk" and throw food, beacause if everyone else is having so much fun, so should he.
We all realize where this has gone and we try to let Kody finally tell his story which wasn't funny at all and I let him know that next time he should put bears in there.
So, not learning from the first time, Kody trys to tell us about the story he is reading in English class.
"Are there bears in this one?" I ask
"Ok, so the girl bear doesn't like who her father bear has picked for her to marry, since it's an old gray bear, the father bear tells her..." (I know there was something about whoever picks the key, but I forgot, this wasn't a good story either, even with bears!)
"So, Kyle asks what if it's another girl bear who picks the key?" Kody ends (finally)
"Then they are lesbian bears'" Danny says, by this time Danny has left the table because he got tired of Danielle and I yelling 3rd period and holding up 5 fingers or 9th period and holding up 4 fingers. We were also yelling bears the whole time!

So, as you can see our dinners are always out there, although, tonight was a little more inapropriate than normal. We usually just have the bodily functions discussion with someone ending with "Do we have to discuss bodily functions at the table?" in Nana's voice. (love you mom) Eventually Kody asks for more roast and can someone pass it.

"Too lazy" dad says which is what Kody usually says when asked to help.
"Oh thats otay!" Danielle adds, which is another Kodyism when asked to pass something.

Kody is definately all boy. I guess I never realized what preteen and teenage boys talk and think about constantly. I have been getting a quick lesson from the baseball team Danny coaches and a son who is entering this age. Wow! I still wonder what goes on in there. But when you have 2 parents who have not seemed to grow up and still giggle when the word penis is said, or wood, but that is a whole other story with Danielle, where she ends up looking like the adult not her mother, what are you going to do?
What do you talk about at dinner?