Wow! That's all I have to say about that, WOW!

I'm not real sure how to start this post...I guess I'll just start and hope that I make sense.



I've had what I would call a life changing weekend. I have let myself get run down with negative feelings. About a lot of things. Number one is my ward. It seems that no one shows up to the activities that Danny and I plan, my visiting teacher partner and I just threw a ward baby shower for one of our ladies and only 4 women showed up. The baby shower before that that my partner planned only 6 showed up. Of course being a little too sensitive, I take all this personally. With the ward activities, my feelings come from hearing everyone say they were so excited about Danny and I getting the calling, because they know we will do "fresh, fun" activities. "We're all so tired of the same-o same-o" they said. Well it seems that "fresh" was not what they wanted. With the exception of the Territorial 500, very few have shown up to the others. No one ever gets there on time who has keys to the library or activities closet so we can decorate or test meachinery before we need it. blah blah blah This is where the negativeness has started, I let it grow to where lately I feel that the YW leaders are being lazy, because they have been canceling Danielle's activities in lue of Stake activites, or not wanting to have fun. I didn't get on here to complain and I promise this gets better, more optimistic.



On top of all this, we are moving due to some financial trouble and not getting along with the people we were renting to own the house from. I let myself believe the Lord would "miraculously" send me a check for everything I needed, because thats what I thought I needed. However, that is not what matters, it's what the Lord wants. So, when I finally gave in and let myself understand that we would not be getting the money and that moving was inevitable, that was last Friday, we started to move on Saturday into a 5 bedroom double wide. My negativeness seemed to grow as we actually unloaded the car from the first load. I just knew I wasn't going to enjoy this place, that it was not "my" house. After the second and final load of the day, because we were due at a graduation party for a dear friend who just graduated from ERAU that morning, we were sitting on the floor of the living room of this new place and everyone else was happy. The kids were playing and laughing, Danny was enjoying watching them, I started to feel happy again. I realized that the kids didn't care, that as long as we were together they were happy, that this place might be better for us after all. It sits on a 1/2 acre and we can plant grass, my one gripe with the current house is no grass for Sammy to play. We can plant a garden, do yard work, be outside, things we have not done since moving into this house just over a year ago. I could feel the spirit telling me it was ok and this was the answer I was waiting for, not some "miracle check" to arrive in the mail.



So we clean up and head to the graduation bbq for Daniel Adul, for those of you who don't know, Daniel is Walter's brother our very good friend from Kenya. Daniel's parents are in town, whom we love, his older brother and wife, and a cousin we have not got to meet yet. We enjoy a wonderful meal, good friends as the rest of our Kenyan friends who attend Embry Riddle are all there also, of course Beth, who is married to Walter is also there. As the night went on and people slowed down thier eating, Ann, Daniel's mom calls everyone into the living room of where they are staying and tells us she would like to talk to all of us. This turns into a Family Home Evening type of thing. Ann, and the other girls sang a hymn, in English and then Swahili, where the rest of the Kenyans join in, it was beautiful, immediately the spirit enters the house. I really needed to feel the spirit, as I have been negative and not let it in lately, at church or from my mother who I have not shared my feelings with for fear of letting her down or her trying to "fix" my fiancial problems. Ann then pulls out her Bible and says she wants to read to us from it. She launches into a story about the prophet Elijah from either 1 or 2 Kings. I'll just summarize what I got out of the story, thier was a gate at the castle and 4 lepers decided to go and let the King know that the army that was due to attack them had run off, that the gatekeeper opened the gate to them even though they were lepers. The Lord told the 4 men to go and it would be opened. Ann told us how they let Daniel leave home at age 19 and sent him to this land that they did not know much about, how they had faith that things would be ok, that many "gates" were open for him. She told us how much she was thankful for all of us who had befriended him and taken him in, helped him along the way. Her husband, Elijah, also told us how much they look forward to coming to Arizona every year or so. I knew right away that the Lord inspired Ann to talk about opening "gates" for us, I knew that the move would be ok, that we could survive as long as we had faith that the Lord was there for us. I had not talked to my mother about my house problems, I had kept my negativeness for the ward so long that the spirit could not reach me there, so he sent this wonderful woman from another contintent at this exact time to teach me what I needed to hear! How wonderful is the Lord for this. I am so thankful that he knows me and my needs personally. I gave her a big hug afterwards and told her she helped me sooooooo much, how grateful I was to have her in my life, that she knew to bring everyone in on this night and discuss the things we did. She looked me in the eye and said " I know you did, Kristi, I know" What a wonderful woman! What a wonderful Lord to still try to reach me when I had closed the 2 gates I use to recieve his guidance, and still find me!

So on Sunday I bore my testimony, in Fast and Testimony meeting, so that I could let the Lord know how thankful I was. When we left church at the end of the block, we found Danny had 9 messages and 4 texts. Thank goodness he had his phone with him, even though it was in the car. Danny's dad had tried to commit suicide. Jim's partner and one of the mechanics had been trying to reach him for the last 30 minutes. The mechanic had decided to go in and fix his personal bike that morning, thank the Lord again, and found Jim face down on his desk. I won't go in to alot of details, in fact I shouldn't say much because I know Jim does not want a lot people to know. But he does not believe in God or anything spiritual at all. How sad and lonely he must have felt yesterday morning without realizing the Lord loves him. My heart ached all day, especially after having such a spiritual event the night before. When I was able to see Jim in the hospital I told how much we love him and need him, that God loves him and even though he tried to ignore me I know he heard me. We also snuck in some missionaries and gave him a blessing. He was already out of it and wasn't real sure what was going on, but I know he needed it. Needless to say he is fine and even gets to come home today from what was supposed to be a 72 hour psych hold.

What an emotional weekend! I have been all over the spectrum of emotions the last 3-4 days. I am still battling a little with the ward and activities, but I am inspired to plan something with the Lord's help that the people will want to attend, I know I can do it! All I can say is that in the end I am thankful for my Heavenly Father's love, thankful for a mother who raised me to believe in Him. My life is good, that is why I typed the last post, so I would like to add a #21 to the list:

#21 A roof over my head.